Client Q & A: Do you have any tips on resting?
Sep 29, 2022
I have often wanted to include questions from my community members and offer my reflections back. So that is what we have today. This client has always inspired me with their desire for learning, growth, and self-awareness.
If you have a question, send me an email. I may not have "the answer," though I will reflect on it, and I may ask you a question back that might be helpful in your exploration.
CLIENT:
Do you have any tips on resting? I’ve realized my soul is very tired, and I’m trying to rest more, but it’s so boring it makes me want to rip my eyes out.
I started out setting timers a couple of times daily for 5 minutes to sit and do nothing. I’ve increased to longer times. Sometimes I do nothing for 30 minutes or 1 hour each day.
I’ve been using your Soul-Care Strategy deck to help with self care. But I’m finding I still need rest.
I am having a very challenging time, though, because it’s so boring, and I hate doing nothing. I’ve been taking walks and trying to be present and reading too. But I need more rest, which is stressful since it’s boring.
JOY:
Do you need rest or sleep? I take lots of breaks here and there throughout the day. I don't set a timer. I just rest until I am ready to get up. I may sit down or lay down for only 2 minutes or 5 minutes, or 20 minutes. Sometimes I go outside to look at the garden. Or I go outside to listen to birds. Or to stare at the clouds.
I think if you are bored, then you are trying too hard. Rest isn't about forcing yourself to do nothing.
For me resting is letting the mind wander without attaching to the outcome. Daydreaming is a form of resting, allowing the imagination to flow and not to freeze.
When I hear you are bored, it sounds like you are putting your imagination in a time out. It sounds like you are unnecessarily punishing yourself.
Tell me more about how your soul is tired.
Are you tired of trying to fit in? Or tired from needing to make money? Are you exhausted from a mind that won't stop thinking?
"Thinking" and "allowing the mind to wander" are a bit different. What does your soul need rest from? I hope this helps you open to curiosity about what your soul is really needing.
Tell me more and or share with me your reflections that get stimulated from this email.
CLIENT:
A further reflection
I realized I’m also exhausted from living with others on their terms. [I need] freedom, my soul yearns for to do things like open the windows if I feel like it. And [I need] to have sacred space for myself set up to meet my needs of having alone space.
I’m working on making this happen, but at the moment, I’m so tired because of this.
JOY:
I can really empathize with not having your own space to take care of yourself in the nourishing ways that would be so natural to you. Such as throwing open a window.
I have witnessed how much you crave learning and growth. An important aspect of learning is giving yourself time to integrate the learning.
Ahhh, the need for rest and play.
I encourage you to reconnect to simple joys, fun gets to be explored and redefined by your current needs.
...I cherish your inquisitive exploring mind.
CLIENT:
Thank you for your empathy and for helping me to feel seen
And for reminding me, there must be time for integration. That helps me feel better about taking breaks
Reframing it as you said, “fun gets to be explored and redefined by your current needs,” helps it feel more like a positive adventure.
Your questions also helped me see I am tired of people-pleasing. I am taking a course on ending people pleasing / healing the shapeshifter archetype. And that I’m tired of trying to fit in
JOY:
How wonderful that you are finding relief in understanding and accepting yourself as you are. Ahhhhh. The soothing balm of self-acceptance.
I am honored to give witness to your journey.
Stay grounded as you continue to expand in awareness.
This client gave permission for us to include questions and reflections and their artwork in our newsletter and blog. A detail of their artwork is presented with this blog and is entitled "Chasing Kervac Blues." 2021 Acrylic
