July 2022 News from Joy

In early July, I traveled back to Florida to help my parents. With each return trip, I noticed more objectively our family dynamics. I observe intense loyalty and unsettlingly volatility. Each member wants to offer love and support to my ailing mom and overwhelmed dad. My parents are struggling with the stress and decrements of aging. They aren't fully aware of its toll on their decision-making ability. They don't realize what they don't remember.

I witness my parents' need for dignity, the desire to control their circumstances, and their feelings of inadequacy. It all gets tangled and messy, not just for them but for all of us siblings. I have even more compassion for my parents, siblings, and myself. We collectively move through waves in unchartered territory.

In my recent visit, the intensity of energy, with sharply raised voices, challenged my nervous system. The constant TV news blaring at high volume was detrimental to my need for quiet intimacy with my mama.

My sisters and I have grown even closer as we touch base daily. I practice self-care through quiet time and adjusting my work schedule as needed. I am grateful for my husband's listening support.

Since returning home, I have become obsessed with gardening. Despite the intense heat, digging in the dirt has been therapeutic. And finally, the rains have come to quench the parched soil.

In the bigger picture, my prayers go out to those who have struggled with the intense heat, the wildfires, and those affected by the torrential floods in Kentucky and elsewhere. I pray we can all be stewards of our Great Mother Earth. May we tend to her responsibly as we all need her rich soil, clean air, and flowing waters.